by Anne Cornelis - Futur Soi Coaching - March 30, 2022

Our true power lies in the present moment

( part 2 )

... We always have good reason to regret the past. Resentment, anger. Can we really free ourselves from them? The true power of the present moment.

As I was trying to let go of the impacts of the past and better understand how I and others functioned (with whom I had so many misunderstandings and misalignments), reading Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of the Present Moment" triggered some powerful realizations in me. 

This article is the second part of my reflection following the reading of this book. 

If you haven't read Part 1: How to free yourself from a situation that makes you suffer, click here.

the ego: a friend who cares about us

Do you know what ego is?

The ego doesn't like change very much and will want to avoid it at all costs.

Even if he knows it's not the best for us!

Because he prefers to stick to what he's used to (novelty scares him and is insecure for him). Even if it means making ourselves suffer by reliving the patterns of our past, the emotional pain embedded in our bodies and our internal states. 

By "silencing" this ego, by putting it on pause, we live more authentically. We can reconnect with our true Self.

In doing so, we free ourselves from "our" suffering and "our" pain. We free ourselves from our past (which will no longer have a hold on us) when we are fully in this present moment. 

People who are over-reactive, unhappy, even depressed or anxious live only in the past and/or future.

It's by connecting with the present moment, drawing out and anchoring the positive in everything, and feeling gratitude for what that positive brings, that these people can be serene, at peace with themselves and, by extension, at peace with the outside world. 

With their environment, in their relationships with others, with the bad experiences of the past and the uncertainty of the future, .....

Watch and see!

Another interesting key to develop is the ability to observe oneself.

Observe to detect what's going on inside us.

Observe our reactions, our thoughts and their patterns; our emotions that come to the surface, the shadows of our ego and the issues at stake. 

It's by being aware of all these mechanisms and having a thorough knowledge of ourselves that we can thwart our inner workings and change our behavior (the aim of my coaching 😉 ). 

This is what Eckhart Tolle explains so well in his book "The Power of the Present Moment". The very fact of observing and paying attention, without judgment or analysis (so as not to start our hamster), ensures that :

• identification with our evil will dissolve
• emotion and unpleasant feelings will slide by without having any hold on us
• the pain will fade until it disappears

And if we take this a step further, we can also do the same for our attitude to our future. 

As a scientist by training (biologist), I'm always amazed at the extent to which human beings are first and foremost animals conditioned for survival! 

An animal must see danger everywhere, or risk being eaten by a predator at the corner of a bush. 

But we are no longer in a world (for most of us) where there is a risk of imminent danger, where our primary needs are not being met (according to Maslow's pyramid). In our modern world, we have food on every corner, shelter and security.

Our brains should no longer have to focus on the negative.

So if we train our brains to see the positive in everything, we can reduce that anxiety, that fear of what the future holds.

In short, the fear of lack! 

This change of perception remains difficult to achieve, because it is unnatural. But it's up to us to decide. It's a choice on our part, and the key to our well-being and happiness. Once this decision has been made, the process of change can begin!

By being in the present moment with a silent observer posture, as Eckhart Tolle calls it, we then move from an unconscious reactive state to a conscious neutral observer state:

• our behaviors are no longer unconscious reactions to past wounds.
• we become fully conscious, fully present to what is
• we can look at our thoughts
• we feel the emotions generated by our thoughts
• we are able to observe the reactions guided by these emotions without dwelling on them (they will only pass by)

In this way, we can use our mind (ego) in the best possible way.

By putting the ego back in its rightful place, we can reconnect with the intelligence of the heart, also known as the state of cardiac coherence (this will probably be the subject of a future article on the book The Intuitive Intelligence of the Heart by Doc Childre and Howard Martin - HearthMath).

That intuitive intelligence that knows what's right and good for us. 

Here's how I got started:

Let's not let our past define us, which opens all doors to the field of possibilities for creating, in the present, the future to which we aspire!

There's always good reason to regret the past

We always have good reason to regret the past. Resentment, anger. Can we really free ourselves from them?

Abandoned in my native country, I was adopted into another country, another culture, with so-called toxic environments. I understand the context at the time and don't hold any grudges - on the contrary.

It's these experiences that have enriched me and made me the person I am today, and which I hope to be able to share for the benefit of those going through painful times. 

But before I could see all this and find my life mission in what is now my coaching style, I was in the position of victim.

I told myself (internal discourse) that there was no way out.

That I'd never find fulfillment in my professional life, despite the many different and varied jobs I've done.

I wasn't able to get the education I wanted, which was a great frustration for me for many years. What's more, I had trouble finding my place in an environment whose workings and reactions I didn't understand, and which wasn't in ac
cord with my values of respect, benevolence, listening, empathy, kindness, honesty, justice, mutual aid, generosity, appreciation and integrity.

If I had remained entangled in this internal discourse, I'm sure I wouldn't have become the free and fulfilled woman I am today.

This quest to understand human functioning, and in particular reading Eckhart Tolle's book, led me to this conclusion:

Let's not let ourselves be defined by our past or by what people say and might think, because we can create our future, become what we'd like to be... 

That's where our power lies! 

See what you already have and enjoy it.

So ask yourself: 

"- Who do you want to be?" 

"- And, do you have a problem right now, as you read these lines?"

The answers and resources to deal with them will come when you need them - you can trust yourself! Now, enjoy the present moment by being satisfied with it, not by criticizing it or waiting for an illusory future: 

• when you're rich
• when you'll have a better life
• when the kids grow up
• when you get this promotion

See what you already have and appreciate it. 

Your life is already good, you have all the resources within you and immense potential. This is how you'll feel complete, enough and perfect with your imperfections. Because that's what makes you who you are.

It's what makes you unique and special.

By practicing this way of thinking, you'll reconnect with your authentic, true Self. You'll appreciate and love yourself unconditionally. The true love that lies deep within you will fulfill you, for it is the essence of Life.

So you can feel the blossoming.

How can you put the power of the present moment into practice in your life?

In coaching, I propose a technique called positive imprinting. By practicing it, you can modify your internal state so that negative events and thoughts have less of a hold on you.

Here are three things you can do on a regular basis to live better in the present moment and be happier:

Action 1: Practice seeing the positive in everything

• Write down your big and small successes and celebrate them,
• be grateful for the little things in your daily life
• make a list of your qualities and talents

Suggestions: choose a nice notebook to write down your gratitudes, successes or accomplishments for the day, or write in a journal.

Action 2: Make time for yourself

• set aside time in your diary to be alone with yourself
• Take regular mini-breaks throughout the day. Close your eyes and enjoy the present moment with all your senses (sounds, smells, sensations, etc.).
• as often as possible, adopt the stance of a neutral observer, without judging or analyzing what you see

Suggestions: concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes, do cardiac coherence (5 minutes), meditate, walk in nature, do things consciously, ....

Action 3: Feel who you would like to become

• take time to think about the person you'd like to be.
• look at what you want to keep or amplify
• make a list of what you no longer want in your life, or what you'd like to improve.

Suggestions: write down your thoughts, aspirations or dreams in a journal. Find and follow people who inspire you.

Finally, I'd like to share with you one of my favorite quotes:

Your real power lies in the present moment.

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